her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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