you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?