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ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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