This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.