yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles