there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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