we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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