sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
