If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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