We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
