I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
