why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
