Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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