I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
