i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
