my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
