Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
