He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was not drunk enough for that final.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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