I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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