You really coming over, don't trick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
