I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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