is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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