he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
