Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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