I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
