I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
