How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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