Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
