Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
