You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
