when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize