he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
