So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My life is pants optional.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
