I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
