I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
