Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
do nipples grow back?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
