just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
