why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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