Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
