so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
