People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
