Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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