i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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