Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
