you would pick up someone in the library
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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