you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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