whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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