I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
