guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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