Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
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new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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