If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
