I wish I could punch you in the face.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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