Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
