Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
