i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize