we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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