He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
