that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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