He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
