Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize