This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
