you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize