I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.