For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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