I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize