You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
