my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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