If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
please come you make the beer taste better
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
