shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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