Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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