I am puke
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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