she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
