The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
