The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
