I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
