From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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