tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
