I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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