If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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