she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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